Friday, February 28, 2003
Yowser.....An eventful thing happened to me late last night....I skidded and had my very first motorcycle accident....haha....it was dramatic rather than tragic...coz I was travelling at 20km/h...40 the max........and kinda skidded off over some...uhh..I think skidded over lotsa loose granites.....ahahaha....it's fortunate that I did not go over that speed if I did, I would be in a hospital right now and not typping this blog one handed....hahaha
Thanks for the help of this lady and bach and rahmat and normann......kinda feel composed because mainly they are around....
Can't say much bout Nasha....she had a dented tank and some scratches......hahaha.....for me.....a skinned left palm, swollen right knee...and bruised right arm...and aches all over when I woke up......today....
Was pretty alright when it happened..but the shock and reality crept by me.....soon after I've laid my head to sleep.......all the 'What Ifs" started to flow right back into my head....Damn.....I could be more worse off or even not be alive today......
Decided not to dwell on that and make this a fruitful lesson for me......
Something struck to me and I think it will haunt for the rest of my life when bach said" You are more worried bout whats gonna happen than you are worried bout yourself...." that struck the nerves fully....I understand for what he meant...and I'll heed his advice....for once I did not heed the advice from that someone....who told me to be careful and take care...hahaha...BURNT!
All thanks to bach, normann and rahmat...to see them run faster than Carl Lewis...towards me is something reassuring....Thanks Guys!.....not forgetting Najjib too...coz he came down with a PFA...Thanks!
There goes my Malacca trip......maybe some time in the near futurre........have to do that......!
I'll leave you with what a Police Officer asked me at the scene..." EY! You got Licence or not?".....
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 9:58 PM|
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Thursday, February 27, 2003
Yow....was too tired to leave imprints on this blog....yesterday.....
Had a wonderful evening on wednesday compliments of the jazz bar....like mang said...could be our solace if we are in need of it...the music was great....the band was superb.
Sat with the guys till late by the river...and I felt Life is not what I've perceived it to be....it has changed my perspective totally....thanks to that just chance of sitting by the river with the guys......We took turns re-collecting our memories we had and cherished and on the hind sight...I felt good that I've gone through all those.....
I felt sad though.....watching one of the my closest confidante...being devoured by depression and hurt slowly and I'm just here watching....not doing anything...I've tried to do all the best that I could possibly think of...and I'll try to carry on...helping and giving support.....
I've re-installed everything in my PC today....felt better...felt something new...all of the sudden......tomorrow's O'levels....i'll bet lotsa dreary eyed 16 year olds....not getting any sleep....TOO LATE!....go and sleep deal with the results later......hahah.....I had moths in my stomach when I went through that phase...hahah.....but enjoyed every single moment of it.....now
Well I've got to hit the sack..........nites LIFE
*~ I'll be your love suicide...the one that silenced sweet memories~*
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 8:30 AM|
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Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Hi....was in a pretty foul mood.....my PC have given me the blue screen...again....dammit have to re-install everything....need to go to Sim Lim and get some stuffs....I'll think I go later today...
Been out the house most of the time just now...went to market and made errands for Mummy dearest....came back and Mum told me I had to drop by my sis's skool to take back the curtains...she told mum that the curtains are a tad too long....so off to see the kids i've relief teach again....they were all smiles when thay saw me....can't wait to go back to teach!...hahahaha
Then I went for a swim with Najjib...the swimming complex ROCKS....had fun with Najjib.....we mainly talked bout the Ubin trip.....thinking of going there again...hahaha..we did talk bout personal stuffs and basically our lives..like you've said it Najjib " It's HARD"... made plans to go out with the guys......after that...
Once I got home...mum was in a foul mood..I do not know why...when I told her that I'm going out again..she got cranky and stuffs....I've always believed that it's bad to make my folks angry..so I've decided to forgo the outing with the guys...Sorry guys...especially you, Najjib...
Continued reading Chris Rock's book..in the evening....at around 8...dad wanted me to buy some aquarium stuffs....and I went off on my bike to Bedok....Met up with Isa...and we talked........mostly bout our lives and the future and some touchy issues also......Started to reminise the days..when we used to hang out and do stuffs....thanks for the memories Isa...will keep it.
Talked to her for the longest time....just now..I had mixed feelings all that while....I felt, shy,sad, happy but also wary...when talking to her.....maybe it's just me......oh well.....but it's nice to wind up the day talking to someone...just like an emotional dustbin....hehe...in a good way that is...
So..there....that is what I did today or yesterday..damn need to blog early and not in the early hours.......hmmm what will Wednesday bring me....?? We'll see....
Well....see you again in the light of a new day...Life.
*~Tomorrow starts a new day...a new Life..a new story..and a new dream~* Inspired from Yuni
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 11:59 AM|
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Monday, February 24, 2003
Dwindling in number.........we are right now....Just sent Rusdi off earlier today....gonna be a whole year before he returns....am really starting to ache to go back to Darwin....went there during my UN days in East Timor...fell in love with the serenity and it's landscapes....away from the bustle of town...
I'm giving myself till the end of this year to make this dream of mine into a reality.....anyone fancy to follow?? leave contacts via guestbook.....hahahah
Just got back from Ubin...hands,thighs, bums and calves aching like hell....am gonna have cramps tonight...but I look forward to them..cos I sleep better after that....
Had fun there.....going up and down trails at break-neck speed..hehehe...but more of the down than up please...ehheeh
One of the riders....misjudged the turn at one point and he kinda got off the track and landed a few feet by the river...Normann was the one that alerted us...felt sorry for the guy and mang...cos mang was not feeling that well in the earlier part of the trip.....
Am wondering if Bach is fine though...argh....what am I thinking?? he'll do better....I know he can..and he will.
Thought I saw my dream girl today.....but it turned out to be someone else...Have started to feel...that the meeting is a one time off kinda thing...oh well.....que sera sera...what'd Live would be...will be.
All in all I had fun today....another entry of fun into my Life...hehehe.......
*~Your emotional tools can cure any fools whose dreams have fallen apart.~* Indecent Obsession
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 3:09 AM|
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Sunday, February 23, 2003
Went out at 6 to meet up with the guys......had the most close sessions....today...it's nice on how we've grown into each other...in an UN-GAY way....hahahah
On my way home...I took the most quietest and backway route....It soothes you.....going at 70km/h on a 50km/h zone....with the wind crashing against the face.... It helps me to think and enjoy the 'freedom'.....I have started to feel alone and desolated lately....and riding at nights seems to melt these void away.....
Hmm...having someone to love you and be by your side...is a great feeling...but what happens if that feeling fades away...I've experienced it.....it sucked...but I believe in not owning the life you have learn to love...so i'd set her free...hard it may seem....cruel to some....but I know...that is the way it should be....
Maybe I'll get hitched again for good...or maybe I won't...I do not care...for now, I know the true meaning of true love as it reaches beyond just by saying "I LOVE YOU"s and having been there for each other.....IT'S MUCH MUCH MORE......
Read the last letter she gave me.....and she said that she's sorry to have made my first love turned into a nightmare....well to her I have to say this... It has not...it's been the most wonderful 2 years of my life...if it has any repercussions...its for the better...I'm wiser and more careful....like Isa said to me..." You have to love yourself before you love some one else."
Well...think this is a long entry.....haha thanks, Life for lending out your ear to hear this rants...
*~There's a B-side to every story...If you decide to have some fun~* Eraserheads
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 9:52 AM|
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Saturday, February 22, 2003
Wow...have not been updating...huh? Well..to cap all the days that I've had......is FUN! Stayed out late....for two consecutive nights really had been a toll for some of us....but we had fun......basically...
Did some zoo-keeping the early part of the day, did not sleep till 7 am...so am having some AOB...and some sense of bluriness.....
I think I'm going out today...alone if I have too but would be great to have company..........Had this sudden urge to be at the Raffles Place area...coz to me that place is the best place I would purposely lose myself...
Aight.....need to have a talk with the Zzz Monsters for awhile.....
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 1:30 AM|
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Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Well...umm...not much is done today....done my house chores and fed the animals....talked to my dearest fren..Isa and we had a blast calling each other bitches and asswipes.... He is the main reason that I survived my poly days....
Slept from 4 till 6:30 pm...felt wasted after that....could have done more useful stuffs...my sis got back from NIE and told me that the PPT is not as easy as it seems...hehehe...well so much for the afterglow!
Hmm...someone got back after a long absence...well at its long at least for me....felt great again...but still I have reservations on the departure of a great fren...like bach said, What is left is fond memories...hope I get it right!...
but I reckoned that these are the best memories....I have had!
Nites...Life!
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 7:14 AM|
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Monday, February 17, 2003
Well today marks the day were a part of the satellites leaves this forsaken place to further his studies and the other ones leaves for The same place next week.....Would love to wish them all the best and may they get what they have dreamt to achieve....all the best Reza and Rusdi....
Me?? I'm still waiting to go back into teaching....the countdown have started......yeay!....
Yesterday and today are full of miscellaneous stuffs.....finished creating my first styrofoam art......hahaa am embarking on to the next later tonight...am spending less and les time on the net...cos...I've lost the drive...but it's gonna come back again......
Well need to get ready for airport later....am meeting the guys...at 1:30 pm ar coffeeclub express....going to the fish farm and buy dad some aquatic plants...and maybe i'll ride the long way home........ Chiao Life....!
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 8:05 PM|
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Sunday, February 16, 2003
Spent the early part of the day........wishing that the weather stays....rainy and cool...hehehe....then dabble into styrofoam art.....very encouraging...hahahhaa
Had the most fun experience at Tanglin yesterday....and manage to sell some stuffs.......and did some babe-ogling as sides....hahaha........
All in all I had fun..........nites....need some sleep!
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 8:57 AM|
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Friday, February 14, 2003
Howdy..doo.....partney!....Well am going to sells some of me old stuffs at the flea market today..together with my mates and their parallels.....hahaha.....sometimes do wish I have a parallel too...but that is gonna be too damn weird .....hahahaha
And ouh yah....met bach and diyana at Funan Coffeebean yesterday.....am really glad to see them....and also that I got to see the first PlainJain design worn by Diyana....it rocks...very contrasting and sharp.....hahahaha
Well..if it's just me...i think they are one handsome couple......compliments one over the other....nicee.....hahaha
Also met Naufal and mack...my other fifth of the aural mikhala..........would really love to make music......with him...again..over the fone....but we are all damn busy......
Wookey doo.......need to help dad build another landscape for his new fish tank...damn I am really turning into a ZOO KEEPER....where the animals ain't mine but I have to take care of them....which I love doing hahaha!
Note to Diyana: Would really love to try and ride a scrambler...........am going to Malacca end of this month...any pointers?
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 9:21 PM|
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Got myself a new bag and new shoes for school next month...can't wait to start teaching again.......I LIKE!
Spend the later part of the afternoon at the airport alone while waiting for the rest to come..and have a farewell dinner for two of my mates......thye're leaving for Australia....No worries ey guys?
The time alone at airport...induced me into deep thoughts bout my life and the lives that the one I loved....hope to make everything fine in the future...
Well have nothing to write about, Life...take care and good night...
*~ If I'm not made for you that why does my heart says that I am~* Daniel Bedingfield
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 9:50 AM|
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Thursday, February 13, 2003
February 14th....marks nothing to me but to most thats the most sacred day in making their relationship....but hey....if you treasure that one true love you have should not you have Valentine's every day?...who am I to say huh?
Well went out with family today to celebrate my parents 31st wedding anniversary.....wow 31 years together...tugging it...wiping four bare asses till they've grown.....ensuring that these four have enuff to eat and suffice to be learned and strive in society......is one tuff act to follow....I would always admire my parents...THEY ROCK!....Mak, Pak......happy 31st anniversary!...
Well...am sleeping with a light sense of euphoria....tonight..all compliments from a certain someone....thank you....
Well Life,thanks for the sweet memories....happy valentine's....Life
*~You've kept me hanging as you drift away from me...~* MarchTwelve
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 9:05 AM|
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Am...back!..Arrived home at around 10 yesterday...was so damn tired but felt refreshed after spending the night in the village....somehow, I felt at home with all this simplicity in life...maybe I've found a refuge...away from the bustle of city life.....am planning to go to Malacca oen my own in the first week of March....
Sms-ed my frens the moment I got home....but too damn tired to update the blog that's why.....I made an entry today...
Went to my grandmama and grandpa's grave....quietly tidying up the surrounding....and i achieved serenity....there...it's quiet and peaceful there...hmmm...
*~ Keeping afloat...Help me I'm drowning in my own obsession~*
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 12:20 AM|
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Sunday, February 09, 2003
Spent the whole day....doing chores...cleaning my room...and throwing lotsa stuffs... fiuh...never knew had this much thrash in life...had a small disagreement with mum...on the colours of the curtains...I like the old pink..she wants the blue...saying that she's having a blues collection for the coming Eid...will be spending my first Eid abroad....KL actually..and visit my baby sis...missed her terribly...talked to her on the fone last nite...ended at 2...
Went to Changi V alone last nite...to eat nasi lemak and drink green tea by the remote end of the beach...was feeling kinda sore not going out with the guys...but I need the break alone...
Went to my buddies blogs and leaving them thank yous....had lots of stuff to do tomorrow.....chores to run.....well that's another issue....hahaha..
Balik kampung....yeay yeay yeay...Balik kampung!
Same time tommorow...Life?..okay
*~Try pushing yourself forward..if you plan in getting bruised in the game of Life...its theraputic~*
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 7:52 AM|
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Saturday, February 08, 2003
Was in a foul mood yesterday...as I trudged my way back home, yesterday after the day's out with my buddies...I realised that I made the single most grave mistake..a person could ever make...I misused my true buddies' trust..all of them...I was devastated..and I know they felt even more...Yes, it happened 6 years ago..even time can't help me win back my buddies trust...
I deserved to be doubted by them...and the " Din...once bitten three times shy lah"...kept doing laps in my mind. I am truly sorry guys....any amount asking for forgiveness.....can never get back the full trust....all my other buddies enjoyed...they earned it....but that's not the end....
In front of my PC later that night, and reading one of my friend's blog....it hit me even more....are we disintegrating.......are we dissolving? felt pretty bad on some of the incidents that happened during our usual hang-outs, we've become too close...and lose all sense of empathy and sensitivity among us...sometimes words do break you....and I am guilty of those too.........sometimes.....
Earlier that day met up with the olp TPians...and I could say that all of us have some point or the other made it in Life....then we got into talking bout the good 'ol days.....those days are gone...but why must some friendship be sucked into the pages of history too Why?...it is sad sometimes...
Maturity to some.....but to me we have just moved on...we are the same...only our surroundings have changed....Well.....tha's Life....
*~Positive Tones.....Negative Vibes...Equal in Emotion~*
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 5:32 AM|
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Thursday, February 06, 2003
Hidey Ho......day started quite slowly....but had the most wonderful experience late in the day....I MET MY DREAM GIRL....woohooo.....well I do not know her per say but she kinda fills up all the requirements that I would want for a dream girl...Aww.....come on you know what i'm talking about.... subconsiously, we kinda create an image and certain wonderful aspects and character you would want to make the both of you...the most perfect soulmate ever....Argh...call me EMO...but it's true...it's damn true....Well since this is my blog....I'm gonna describe to all especially you, Life........well...here goes....treng treng treng.....
Was forced to go down to buy bubble tea for mum and my annoying but adorable sis....and oh yah.....Ciggs for dad.....so I went down....upon reaching the bubble tea shop, I kinda got the sudden urge to look up...why up you say?....I normally walk with me head bowed...I dunno....it's been like that.....or at least when I'm alone....back to the story....
So there she was.....everything in the shades of brown.......she wore a brown jacket, had brown striped shirt.....blue denim knee-length skirt an blue converse shoes....what kind? I dunno....Jack Purcell? Jack Taylor?...One Star...Golden Mile's type.....don't care was more of concentrating on her...as a whole...hehehe....oh yah..she brought along a brown umbrella and fashions a beige sling bag.....placed nicely across her porpotionate body....
She kinda ties her hair....into a ponytail....(I LIKE...I like short-haired...too)had no make up and fair complexion....I was mesmerised at the sight of her....heart was thumping fast at this monent......
We entered the same shop...which sells confectionery and they loaned a samll portion of it to make a bubble tea shop......so...all this while...i was observing her....choosing her buns....hahaha...corny it may seem...but yes...she bought buns....haha....we kinda made eye contact from time to time....I was baffled...She noticed me.....wee wee hooo....what can I say....I felt...human.....and till now I still have that feeling....swooshing in and around my inner self....hmmm...
we were close at one time when she was choosing.........a loaf of bread....Gardenia....yah...Gardenia....I was so deeply immersed in this swishy mood...that I completely blocked out the person that was infront of me......asking for charge for the bubble tea.....hiyak....so damn *paisey*....paid him...
Coincidentally...we left the shop...in unison and were walking towards the same direction....and all this while I was stealing glances........and at the same time I was thinking.....it would be awfully nice...to get to know her.....but I did not prode the matter deeply....cos if I do....it would be like an abang lobang......and I am shy........haha
She has grace....she has flair......my god...she had everything my dream girl has.....and even more......we eventually parted ways...I did stop to admire her...and furthermre I had to buy Ciggs for my dad...had to back tracked..to the coffeeshop....haha
On my way back home....I kept envisioning this wonderful person...that I've just met and never wanting this image to disappear.........hmmmm.....the "What Ifs..." started to conjure up in my mind.....but I dismissed them totally...
Back at home....I manage to see myself in the mirror while hanging up my jacket......ARGH GODAMMIT!!!......my hair was in a mess...beyond explanation...worn my nerdy specs....and bike stains on my pants....hehe....
And YET...we made eye contact.....That says a lot of character in her part...and on my part.....I NEED A MAKE OVER.....make that a plastic surgery....haha.....perhaps she was not making eye contact with me....perhaps it was all my imagination....conjuring stuffs....in the words of Doris Day...Perhap,perhaps,perhaps....I'll throw this question to the void...Help me out yah Void?
This is one damn long entry....hahah and oh yah...the discus fishes that me best mate gave me....had just laid eggs...haha..gonna be a proud god-pet owner.....soon..yeay yeay....all is well.....once again...I thank Him for every breath that I take...and all the wonderful things that happens to me......Yippee..
Well...Life,...I got to part now......need to fight the ZzZ Monsters.....perhaps I'll see her in my dreams.....perhaps...perhaps..perhaps........
Goodnight my dream girl...where ever she might be.......but I'm sure we'll sleep under the same bright stars....more like same wetness of rain....looking at the state of red clouds...haha...
Sleep.................
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 11:54 AM|
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Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Well....well....here goes my second entry...a bit late....been trying to mess around making my own webpage...missed my friends...hmmm let's see what we did today. Well woke up early...helped mum repair her sewing machine..became the zookeeper and clean all the tanks and transfering fishes to their roaming tanks...
Fed and cleaned my terrapins and their terrarium......Ekor and Ekorless.....my half shelled buddies.....been with me for a year.....well guys, 21 years more......We Can Do It!...They have been my talking buddies if i'm bored at home....they kinda have this sympathetic look when you talk to them.....
Well my life had kinda reboot-ed but still there are some glitches...need to refine it a little more.....went up till 120km/h on Nasha today....on the TPE...solid!....for a while...then the safety aspects of proper road use...sinked in...hahaha!...Go....Ombre GO!
Oh yah....dad bought 4 rock crabs for the aquarium.....hahaha they ROCK! literally...ahah...and 2 more corydoras.....love 'em all...now the 5 foot tank resembles more of a community centre rather than a community tank.....hahahah...
.....Nites Life!.....see you again in the light of a new day.
*~*Sacrifices sometimes do not suffice*~*....................inspired from Ratni
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 11:45 AM|
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Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Life have been great.....at least for me.....can't say for others though.....had everything I wanted...a loving family, starting off onto a career I have the most passion on....teaching...will be starting next month. A new found freedom..I've called her Nasha.
Starting a blog....hmmm....had no real intentions or sole purpose,to type any aural blarings in my head and transforming them into words.
Here we go!.......woke up damn late did practically nothing and went off with dad to buy some fishes....bought meself two puffer fishes.....yippee!.....my dad called them helicopter fish because of they way they hover in the tank....had a laugh with him......things I've appreciated and cherish in this fragile yet strong-bonded called life. Planning to reboot my life and get a fresh start tomorrow. Together with this new blog..... Need to log off.....my brain is in wishy-washy mode!..
Good night ...Life....
*~*Waiting eagerly for my sunshine.....underground~*
|the_ousted derelicts and a decadent at 9:50 AM|
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